LDS Divorce Support
Finding Hope and Healing
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Hurts, Habits and Hang-Ups
by Kevin Hinckley
This program is part of our Weekly Live Sessions
12 Steps to Healing the Natural Man and Woman
Introduction
Earth life, always teeming with snares and pitfalls, can leave any of us bruised, battered and scarred. Therefore we struggle and fall, then pick ourselves back up, make necessary changes, and get back moving. As we do, we remain constantly aware of the shortcomings that follow us, constantly reoccurring despite all we can do. So we try again, hopeful that, one day, we’ll finally summon up enough will power to finally shed ourselves of our special brand of weaknesses, the ones that seem to shadow us, like a dark cloud, in all we do.
As C.S. Lewis explained:
“…human beings, all over the earth, have this curious idea they ought to behave in a certain way, and cannot really get rid of it. Secondly, that they do not in fact behave in that way.
They know the Law of Nature; they break it. These two facts are the foundation of all clear thinking about ourselves and the universe we live in. (Mere Christianity, p. 8)
As a result, the years pass, the weaknesses remain and we begin to despair we’ll ever, truly be free of them.
The good news, and truly it is good news, is that a loving Heavenly Father, who prepared our earth experience, never intended us to perfect our self. It was never a part of His Plan of Happiness. He knew that the natural man and woman within each of us, left to its own devices, would constantly try to embrace the faulty promises of the world and, like the prodigal son, eventually find itself lonely and empty. The natural man, wandering around in its fallen state, finally “comes to himself” and discovers that he has wandered “from a more exalted sphere” and his inheritance appears spent.
Our entire earth experience, by its very nature, leaves us with destructive patterns, habits and behaviors that stalk our growth and threaten our peace. Our hurts, habits and hang-ups act as a constant reminder to us, that regardless of how gallantly we fight, no matter how impressive our effort, in the end, we cannot find the permanent change we seek on our own. In fact, the Lord reminds us that if when we do turn to him, “I will show unto men their weaknesses.” (Ether 12:27) We need help beyond our own.
The Savior’s infinite atonement has a two fold effect on mankind: first, it was a sinless, selfless sacrifice to redeem us from the fall and draw all men and women unto Him. Secondly, the atonement is available to help each of us daily accomplish, what we cannot do on our own. His love, his sacrifice, can bridge the gap and lift us beyond our abilities—if we will allow it. It can literally transform who we are, changing our very nature until it is brought closer to the nature of our Creator. When that happens, we grow until we ultimately taught to love as He loves, serving in the same way he would.
Through the atonement of Christ, our hurts, habits and hang-ups are healed and taken from us; not by virtue of our efforts, but often in spite of them. Accessing this marvelous power requires that we trust Him and allow the power of the Atonement to change us. In short, we must completely surrender and trust Him. We then begin to do things His way and with his divine timing. And earthly weaknesses that are not part of the “Divine Nature” simply melt away.
The following 12 Steps to Healing the Natural Man and Woman, follow in the tradition of Alcoholics Anonymous and the LDS Addiction Recovery Program. Seen for what they are, against the backdrop of the restored Gospel, they are literally a step by step access to the transforming power of the atonement. However, many Saints who struggle endlessly with hurts, habits and hang-ups do not have an “addiction” and so do not see the need for an ‘addiction’ program. They will, however, benefit from a structured program that helps them set aside pride and ego, trusting completely and fully in the grace and mercy of the savior and allow the heavenly Physician to “cure all our ills. (1 Nephi 7:ll).
This program, whether done individually or as a group, is designed to walk you through the steps of change. A word of warning, however. The natural man is impatient, seeking immediate results and guaranteed results. The Lord, on the other hand, sees us in the broad sweep of our present and future needs. For this reason he has His perfect timetable for us. He will remove hurts, habits and hang-ups in his timetable, not ours. Learning to trust him means learning to trust in his divine plan for us.
It is for this reason that you will need to begin this program without a clear understanding of how long it will take. If you undertake this with a goal to complete it in 12 weeks or 12 days you will be disappointed. His changes for you will not happen according to your timetable. Allow these changes to occur as you continue to study and learn and trust in a Heavenly Father who loves you.
Some changes can happen quickly. Others make take months or longer. Avoid holding yourself to a set deadline for the spirit does not work that way. “My ways,” he warns, “are not your ways.”
Ready to begin?
This program is based on the LDS Addiction Recovery Program
Check out our Weekly Live Sessions section to see when each session is being held live. This program is a powerful tool in healing and moving forward and learning how to apply the Atonement. You will receive tremendous benefits from using it and we are giving it to you for free! Sessions are recorded and then posted on the page corresponding to each session if you by chance aren't able to listen live. Each session has it's own workbook page to follow along with and help you effectively apply each principle in your life.
