LDS Divorce Support
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Divorce Mediation Planning
By Helene Taylor, Esq.
Because approximately 98 percent of all legal cases settle before going to trial, there is a good probability that your divorce can be settled in mediation so it is very important to be prepared. I invite you to use these suggestions to help you prepare for your divorce mediation so you can make difficult decisions with confidence and clarity. I also invite you to use my 7 step Soul Centered Divorce process that is an easy to follow process that will help you identify what is most important to you, gather the information you need to make wise decisions, and select the options that are “right” for you. My 7 step Soul Centered Divorce process is included in which are included in The Soul Centered Divorce, 7 Steps to Making Difficult Divorce Decisions with Confidence and Clarity.
1-Identify all of the issues that must be resolved in your case.
Issues you could be facing include child custody, visitation, child support, spousal support, and property division.
2-Break your list of issues in two.
One list should include the issues you and your husband agree on (i.e., uncontested issues), and the other should include those you don’t agree on (i.e., contested issues).
3-Prioritize your contested issues.
The issue most important to you should be #1, the second #2 and so on. Once you’ve established your priorities, determine how you’d like each issue to be resolved. For example, if spousal support is an unresolved issue, decide the amount, frequency and duration of support you’d like to receive.
4-Meet with your family lawyer to discuss mediation.
During the meeting, ask your lawyer to explain your legal rights for each contested issue and give her opinion about the likely outcome if a judge at trial decided the issues. Also, ask your lawyer about risks she believes you would be taking if you didn’t resolve issues in mediation.
5-Consider your lawyer’s advice and reprioritize issues if necessary.
Research additional information you may need to make necessary adjustments and prepare for mediation.
6-Create goals for each of the contested issues on your list.
For example, if you’d like to receive $1,000 monthly spousal support for 10 years, make this your goal for mediation.
7-Identify your bottom lines for the contested issues on your list.
For example, if your lawyer thinks a judge may award you $800 monthly spousal support for eight years, you may make this your bottom line (i.e., the least you’re willing to accept).
8-Move away from a win–lose attitude and towards a spirit of compromise.
Make your goals and bottom lines general guidelines not fixed rules and be reasonably flexible.
9-Relax and clear your mind before the mediation.
Spend a day at a spa, go for a hike or do whatever it is you love. Rejuvenate and clear your mind so you’re rested and ready for mediation.
This article is not legal advice. You should consult an attorney if you have legal questions that relate to your specific divorce.
